Being Alone

I moved out of my parents home 2 years ago. Away from them and my sister. Mind it's only a 10 minute drive away. I have often, though, felt incredibly alone even prior to the pandemic. It is like feeling like you are on an island and you just don't know how to get off. The pandemic made me even more isolated. I have chronic illnesses. In particular, I have one that affects my lungs. At this point, I am terrified to leave my own home. I'll never forget making my first mask and going to the grocery store. I came home afterwards and cried in the shower. I worry about the disabled community. My sister is disabled and I literally cannot stop thinking about the countless people who have gotten sick or died who are disabled. So if being alone saves my sister and others then I will keep being alone even though it has destroyed me mentally.